I Am The Frog Princess!!!

Many years ago, while wrestling through the dregs another unhealthy relationship, only slightly less unhealthy than the one before – I came to a realization that I had a problem. I knew something had gone terribly askew in my life that I was creating these unhealthy relationships for myself. I recognized there was a pattern to the insanity in my relationships and I knew I had to do something to break the cycle… I was desperate to get to the root of this “dis-ease” of mine. Why was I putting myself in situations that were unhealthy and abusive? What was missing in my life, and why did I lack self esteem and love for myself such that I was allowing men to treat me with little respect… why was I disrespecting MYSELF this way?

I began a relentless search for these answers. I started working with a mentor who helped me ask many terrifying questions of myself and I took a trip to the ancient city of Teotihuachan in Mexico. Teotihuachan is an pre-Columbian Mesoamerican archeological site built by the Toltecs. There is an ancient philosophy practiced there… a practice of wisdom that led me through a journey of self discovery. I asked and began answering those difficult and painful questions. This was a spring board for my freedom from self abuse and the beginning of my personal empowerment.

Before leaving Mexico I felt a shift take place in my thinking and I came to the epiphany that the only person who was ever going to bring me happiness was this frightened girl looking at me in the mirror… and that the answers lie within me and my relationship with myself. I had been so desperate to find a relationship, even get married… somehow thinking that would complete me and fill up all my holes: I realized that had created a hell of my own… a big ass hole I was now going to have to dig my way out of. There was some kind of story in my belief system that this act of tying myself to another would mean I was “enough”… I realized the insanity of this thinking and knew in my heart I needed to undo this belief in my confused and wanting mind. I thought about that wedding I so desperately desired and instead I had a ceremony with myself. If I wanted to be married so bad I was going to marry the only person who could really fill this hole. Myself.  I carefully planned this marriage. I thought about how this ceremony would happen and what needed to take place to consummate this union and create a covenant that would be powerful and transforming. I bought a ring… it was made of wood and silver. The wood was symbolic to me of growth, being rooted, grounding in my own expansion… the metal representing strength and self-reliance. It was my personal talisman to my own truth. In my own silent ceremony atop the Pyramid of the Sun, I prayed to God and asked that he bless this union. To provide me the knowledge and wisdom to overcome the sickness of my heart and come to truly love and honor myself. I vowed to wear this ring and be committed to myself, until at what time I felt I had achieved genuine love, confidence, self-respect… and foremost to only allow those relationships in my life that would genuinely serve me and come from a place of love and honor. I vowed to find my truth and live it with the strength, courage and honor passed down to me from many generations of strong pioneering women.

I went home with renewed hope. I developed powerful words of affirmation for myself and took on a wonderful mantra, that served as my litmus test for the people I chose to be in my life. Realizing that we become the people we associate ourselves with; I put myself in the presence of people who embodied what I desired in my own life… the qualities I most respected. My mantra became a quote from Steve Harvey, “Never make anyone a priority in your life who considers you only an option in theirs”… this was powerful to me. I began to realize that people consider you optional when they disrespect you and themselves. I understood that when a person genuinely values you in their life, they will cherish you and desire to contribute to your life in a way that adds to your overall well-being. I stalked all of my old beliefs about love, myself, relationships, my values, commitment, spirituality… everything. I began to see my own belief system was simply a result of my own conditioning from a lifetime of social and cultural influences. We are all shaped by our experiences… those experiences create beliefs. I began to disassemble those beliefs and examine them… and I was finding big gigantic holes in them. So I started asking myself – What is your own truth… what is real?

I created new beliefs and a new dream of my life. Over time I transformed into a confident, empowered, self respecting woman who knew my own value, and demanded that those around me treat me accordingly. When the time came I passed that ring on to someone I felt needed it more than myself and I opened myself up to new healthy relationships again. I was a different person… a powerful manifestor of like minded potential partners.

I dated and took my time examining every person who came in my life and my own reactions. And, let me tell you, there were a lot of mishaps along the way. I stayed the course and when I doubted myself I just told myself… LIVE AS IF YOU OWN IT! I took careful notice of how the people who presented themselves made me feel, and if their actions were in alignment with my own requirements in a partner; even more important… I took notice of if their actions were congruent with what they stated as their own values. Anyone can talk the talk… but can they walk the walk? Some fell short, and some were simply incompatible with my desires and values in life. There were a lot of frogs… ugly slimy ones! But I had carefully developed and honed my values and desires to reflect my own truth and authenticity. I was unwavering in my belief that the right people was out there and that at exactly the right time they would appear in my life. I believed that they were on their way to me… searching as carefully and intentionally as I. And I honored myself along the way… taking great care with myself and my choices in every area of my life. Sometimes this was a bit painful but in those difficult times I always had that confidence that I was on the right path. And it was working… deep inside I was screaming to myself… Girlfriend you have arrived!

I have met many wonderful men who treat me with respect and love and who value me as much as I value myself. We have all been equally committed to supporting and honoring one another and have had beautiful relationships… I love the way these men loved me and I love the way I have loved them from the most authentic place inside myself… a space of honor and truth. And most importantly… I love the way I love me!

I did indeed kiss a lot of frogs along the way… but low and behold… it was indeed a journey. Love arrived in the most inconspicuous kind of way and yet with a giant splash. It was nothing like the package I had once imagined. Yet better in a totally different kind of way. In the way that counts – and once I landed on the perfect lillypad… magically something amazing happened. I knew I had found love… it was with ME all along.

Over the years I have become the master of frog kissers… I am the frog princess. So if you find yourself in need of some direction and suitable frogs to kiss – I can hook you up! I will help you carefully explore your own beliefs and values and together with my wand… we will whip up a whole pond full of fabulously adorable frogs!

Lets get started.


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